mdehners: (Default)
I Confess. I am a Serial Monogamist. Always have been. This makes what what I’m about to say sound very Judgmental. I am not a big fan of Polyamoury. As a Theory, fine…just not for me. In Practice?
I’m a Gay man(nnnnooo!?!). What this means in this case is that like all of my kind that have Het friends, both the men and women “vent” on our shoulders and over the yrs, esp in California a core subject was Polyamoury….
Now, I’ve been around it for a while. Knew the Zells back when they were both together and Otter was still calling himself Zell. Also, my 1st boyfriend worked in CAW’s office. What I found is that what one thought it was about depended on what Sex and Sexuality you were. Gays ended to think of it like Het women, one large Loving family…working together in Communal Harmony(tm, pat-pending). Het guys tended to think of it as harems where everyone else did the Domestic work(basically Polygamy;>). Being mostly a Leftist movement Gays were “welcomed” but the women tended to try to “cure” them while the Het men saw a bad Porno with the Lesbians. “Bi”, at least for the Het men meant more than one woman having sex with him…never another guy…
The women tended to complain that the guys(Het) held a very “60’s” Hippy view of them as “Old Ladies” to fix them meals and be there to fuck. The Het men complained that half the time they were treated as “friends with benefits”/boyfriends and half as a Traditional Husband(work outside and bring the money home, fix things, discipline the kids, etc), with no warning which one each woman in the household wanted him to be, times the number of women in that household…
Sadly, most end up with the women/woman and the kids as a household with a couple of guys that come in and then leave, to be replaced by a new batch. In the highest form, these guys were/are really “friends with benefits”. The worst are Users that play on the Romantic Image(in some folks heads) of a happy commune of extended sexual Intimacy.
Personally? I’ve never seen a Polyamourous group last more than a couple yrs. Now, some will say that’s it’s Strength. ‘Course, some think long-term relationships/marriage are crippling…..
Troth,
Pat

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