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And the Fit hits the Shan....
Aug. 2nd, 2007 08:53 amWell, that was fun! Mom & Dad are home. My younger Bro and I had a long-needed fight and the air got cleared. Apparently, one of the reasons they didn’t want me to talk to C&S about stuff was that they’ve been playing both of us. I Understand why. It’s pretty normal for folks as they near Hella’s Halls to want their family around them. I just Wish that they’d been Honest instead of Lying to both of us….
One of the big problems is that what makes Chris so good at business doesn’t translate well into esp family relations. It took about a ½ hr for him to “get” that you have to ask folks 1st, instead of just “doing what needs doing” in your view. Oddly enough, he sort of “got it” when I pointed out that it was a lot like doing what he thought was a great project and presentation, then having his boss rag on him about a single sentence that they would have said differently or a different font they’d use.
Also, my brother IS Niles Crane from ‘Frasier’. My folks are very tidy, more than this Homo is and you Know how we are;>! They went in and scrubbed down my folks house because it wasn’t up to “Hospital Standards” and couldn’t Understand why my Dad resented it, until I pointed out that it was as if he was the parent and went and cleaned his son’s room after he had…and had done a good job of it. He and Sandi may mean well, but family members aren’t employees or your own children and treating them like Retarded 6 yr olds makes folks resentful. Esp. when you wouldn’t Appreciate being treated the same way.
Another thing that came up later was that I found out that Chuck had been mad for the last 6 yrs over something that Chris had said “that Pat said”. Another instance where talking would have made life better. Chris had accused Chuck of a shitload of things, things that I supposedly told him. I’d told my Bro about my Roommate Mel not my Partner Chuck. I Know, we all look alike;>. I think Chris found out later because Chuck said that not long after he began to treat him well but never Apologized. They seldom do.
I’m Hoping that it helps t he situation, but I doubt it will for long. Everyone’s Personalities are too well-formed to change at this date. The one I Hope that does is to not use what they say as weapons against them because that’s why they don’t Volunteer stuff. You may feel that you’re “nipping a problem in the bud” by coming down on them at the smallest possible problem but all you do is build Resentment and Distrust. Also, to Remember that they are in their late 7th Decades. Quality of life over Quantity. What would be good for Longevity for a person under 40 is nothing Usually more than a waste of time in you 70’s and 80’s. Literally raiding their home because they’ve had a glass of wine with dinner or Dad may have a beer(maybe two) on a hot day is OK. The few braincells killed aren’t going to make that bing of a difference. Sadly, both of them are very good with the Internet and it’s pretty easy for folks with certain verold to find info that supports it….even if mainstream Medicine doesn’t…ESP. if it DOES.
Troth,
Pat
One of the big problems is that what makes Chris so good at business doesn’t translate well into esp family relations. It took about a ½ hr for him to “get” that you have to ask folks 1st, instead of just “doing what needs doing” in your view. Oddly enough, he sort of “got it” when I pointed out that it was a lot like doing what he thought was a great project and presentation, then having his boss rag on him about a single sentence that they would have said differently or a different font they’d use.
Also, my brother IS Niles Crane from ‘Frasier’. My folks are very tidy, more than this Homo is and you Know how we are;>! They went in and scrubbed down my folks house because it wasn’t up to “Hospital Standards” and couldn’t Understand why my Dad resented it, until I pointed out that it was as if he was the parent and went and cleaned his son’s room after he had…and had done a good job of it. He and Sandi may mean well, but family members aren’t employees or your own children and treating them like Retarded 6 yr olds makes folks resentful. Esp. when you wouldn’t Appreciate being treated the same way.
Another thing that came up later was that I found out that Chuck had been mad for the last 6 yrs over something that Chris had said “that Pat said”. Another instance where talking would have made life better. Chris had accused Chuck of a shitload of things, things that I supposedly told him. I’d told my Bro about my Roommate Mel not my Partner Chuck. I Know, we all look alike;>. I think Chris found out later because Chuck said that not long after he began to treat him well but never Apologized. They seldom do.
I’m Hoping that it helps t he situation, but I doubt it will for long. Everyone’s Personalities are too well-formed to change at this date. The one I Hope that does is to not use what they say as weapons against them because that’s why they don’t Volunteer stuff. You may feel that you’re “nipping a problem in the bud” by coming down on them at the smallest possible problem but all you do is build Resentment and Distrust. Also, to Remember that they are in their late 7th Decades. Quality of life over Quantity. What would be good for Longevity for a person under 40 is nothing Usually more than a waste of time in you 70’s and 80’s. Literally raiding their home because they’ve had a glass of wine with dinner or Dad may have a beer(maybe two) on a hot day is OK. The few braincells killed aren’t going to make that bing of a difference. Sadly, both of them are very good with the Internet and it’s pretty easy for folks with certain verold to find info that supports it….even if mainstream Medicine doesn’t…ESP. if it DOES.
Troth,
Pat
