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mdehnersTop reasons CNN courted Tony Snow to be a "conservative commentator:"
Conservative commentator Robert Novak now refuses to appear on network unless served human blood, but the orphanage is on to us.
Lost conservative Pat Buchanan to MSNBC in poorly planned racist exchange program: screwed when MSNBC couldn't find anyone as racist as Pat Buchanan to send back.
Conservative commentator Lou Dobbs almost done building anti-immigrant wall around CNN headquarters, but needs tall guy to help string barbed wire.
McCain's campaign trail flip-flops and misstatements proving increasingly hard for media to ignore; calling in a White House expert to show us how it's done.
"Human touch" needed to help make conservative commenter Glenn Beck look sane.
Network falling out of cultural balance and needed another white guy: "Snow" sounds about as white as you can get.
George W. Bush years soon over; asked White House for keepsake to remember him by. We were thinking signed portrait, got back press secretary.
Along with Jack Cafferty and Larry King, Snow is human component of ancient mythical power source. Once we sign Brit Hume, Vortex of Eternity will open and we will obtain the Amulet of Supreme Whiteyness, allowing us to rule the world, plus discounts at Applebee's.
Someone needed to balance out flaming liberal firebrand Wolf Blitzer during 2008 campaign season.
Because shut up, that's why.
Conservative commentator Robert Novak now refuses to appear on network unless served human blood, but the orphanage is on to us.
Lost conservative Pat Buchanan to MSNBC in poorly planned racist exchange program: screwed when MSNBC couldn't find anyone as racist as Pat Buchanan to send back.
Conservative commentator Lou Dobbs almost done building anti-immigrant wall around CNN headquarters, but needs tall guy to help string barbed wire.
McCain's campaign trail flip-flops and misstatements proving increasingly hard for media to ignore; calling in a White House expert to show us how it's done.
"Human touch" needed to help make conservative commenter Glenn Beck look sane.
Network falling out of cultural balance and needed another white guy: "Snow" sounds about as white as you can get.
George W. Bush years soon over; asked White House for keepsake to remember him by. We were thinking signed portrait, got back press secretary.
Along with Jack Cafferty and Larry King, Snow is human component of ancient mythical power source. Once we sign Brit Hume, Vortex of Eternity will open and we will obtain the Amulet of Supreme Whiteyness, allowing us to rule the world, plus discounts at Applebee's.
Someone needed to balance out flaming liberal firebrand Wolf Blitzer during 2008 campaign season.
Because shut up, that's why.
