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[personal profile] mdehners
Involves special ordering.

Will turn her wig more than 15 degrees in either direction.

She minds her dear, departed parents in Heaven grabbing popcorn and watching.

Requires her to shave above the knee.

Would suggest to her husband that she is actually enjoying herself unless, as is often the case, this will only serve to cause him to lose interest and stop.

Would leave toe-prints on the headboard or cause her to lose her place in Psalms.

Causes her to perspire more than when she stirs a thin soup.

Obliterates the crisp crease in her 400-plus thread count “Shroud of Turin” pattern “Exodus from Egyptian Cotton” sheets upon completion of her onerous marital duties.

Involves any animal noises not made by an actual household pet, which at all times will keep at least two paws on the bedroom floor.

Appears in the Old Testament.

Will leave lipstick on any body part not seen in church.

Involves participation in a “Trinity.”
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