Labels....
Jan. 16th, 2016 06:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mdehnersAs I've pointed out many times over the yrs, I'm a "Pro-Labels". I'm old enough not to be Interested in the sort of superficialness of discourse that being "Label-free" requires.
A simple example from my life. 2 Christian co-workers. VERY Devote. ASSUMED they had a lot in common.
1-Pre-Vatican II Catholic
2-7th Day Adventist
Once they got Deeper in their "friendship"...it ENDED. Both basically considered the other at best Heretic, at worst, DAMNED. NOT FUN for the rest who had to work with these two women(though to be Honest, they weren't any fun before;>). If they'd known at the beginning, they could have worked out the sort of relationship that they had with the rest of us, friendly but not friends.
A combo of my age and health makes me less willing to waste time,esp in interactions that may bite me on the arse later. A Pagan friend asked my why I introduced myself as "Pat, a Gay Heathen PWA" because" labels aren't important". Yes, yes they ARE.
Heck, even when you state what you are, folks may decide what you "really are" anyway. Pagans do this to me often on the Spiritual front. Hets do it on the Sexuality front. Gays do it on the hiv/aids front. But at least with THAT minimum Intro I can cut out HRS if not days/weeks of superficial discourse.
I admit I was SLIGHTLY on the "Label-Free" team back in my early 20's but even then I got tired of the blowback(Bisexuals who wanted culturally-accepted lives but used you as "release",Duotheists arguing that what you REEAAAALLLY followed was simply an Aspect of their Lay and Lord, Hets that couldn't believe you were reeeaaallly Gay because you "didn't ACT Gay"!?! etc. Today, I try to weed out interactions that I know will just lead to Stress.
It's difficult to do though with so much pressure to "conform" to the LF Lifestyle. Even my SIL is one. A New Ager that refuses to be "Labeled" such, even though she oft embodies the most stereotypical of the Belief Systems. And, as LF folks oft do she tells me what my Beliefs "really are"...
There's a difference with Family though. You HAVE to interact peacefully. Non-Family you DON'T.
Cheers,
Pat
A simple example from my life. 2 Christian co-workers. VERY Devote. ASSUMED they had a lot in common.
1-Pre-Vatican II Catholic
2-7th Day Adventist
Once they got Deeper in their "friendship"...it ENDED. Both basically considered the other at best Heretic, at worst, DAMNED. NOT FUN for the rest who had to work with these two women(though to be Honest, they weren't any fun before;>). If they'd known at the beginning, they could have worked out the sort of relationship that they had with the rest of us, friendly but not friends.
A combo of my age and health makes me less willing to waste time,esp in interactions that may bite me on the arse later. A Pagan friend asked my why I introduced myself as "Pat, a Gay Heathen PWA" because" labels aren't important". Yes, yes they ARE.
Heck, even when you state what you are, folks may decide what you "really are" anyway. Pagans do this to me often on the Spiritual front. Hets do it on the Sexuality front. Gays do it on the hiv/aids front. But at least with THAT minimum Intro I can cut out HRS if not days/weeks of superficial discourse.
I admit I was SLIGHTLY on the "Label-Free" team back in my early 20's but even then I got tired of the blowback(Bisexuals who wanted culturally-accepted lives but used you as "release",Duotheists arguing that what you REEAAAALLLY followed was simply an Aspect of their Lay and Lord, Hets that couldn't believe you were reeeaaallly Gay because you "didn't ACT Gay"!?! etc. Today, I try to weed out interactions that I know will just lead to Stress.
It's difficult to do though with so much pressure to "conform" to the LF Lifestyle. Even my SIL is one. A New Ager that refuses to be "Labeled" such, even though she oft embodies the most stereotypical of the Belief Systems. And, as LF folks oft do she tells me what my Beliefs "really are"...
There's a difference with Family though. You HAVE to interact peacefully. Non-Family you DON'T.
Cheers,
Pat
