Ups and Downs....

[mdehners]

So, I got home from back surgery Sunday. I'm turning into my mother. Had an allergic reaction to the dressing they used to cover the 3 vertebrae space which basically gave me a 2nd degree burn. The new one's fine. 5 days post surgery and I feel better than I've felt in yrs,with the exception of on spot feeling like someone constantly grinding their thumb into that part of my back....but it gets a little better every day.
Now for the Down. It looks like the stress of me in the hospital caused another Stroke in Chuck. He was like he was in the hospital when he had is 1st for the 1st 2 days, then got a little better. the day later I got home. He has a problem with separating dream from reality....or even random thought. Since Sunday he's got about 50% back to what he was before my surgery but I don't expect much more.My brother and his wife think he should go to a nursing home but as long as he can take care of himself(feed, water, clean and dress himself) he's staying HERE. Let's just say I'll be surprised if he can still by November(his 71st B-day).
Always something,
Patrick

Comments

[weofodthignen]

Oh, poor Chuck, I am sorry. That's really sad that your having to have surgery was too much for him. I hope you're being too pessimistic, but you know him :-(

Glad the surgery went well, sorry to hear about the allergic reaction and glad they fixed it. My confidence in US medical services is not very high now.

M

[mdehners]

Mine as well. Except for the L lower spot the pain is mostly gone. Unfortunately, that spot is doing well enough on it's own;>.
While Chuck is improving, the situation has both unnerved my brother(a very logical Atheist type with little coping with Emotional out bursts)and worried me. No matter what is said about "Gay Marriage" when it comes down to it(at least in Florida) you have NO legal rights to help. There are 2 solutions when/if Chuck needs more care than I can give(or are dead):Calling the cops and have them take him away so social services can get him a place or
Getting Senior Services to send a judge to "judge" whether the situation is safe or that he needs to be removed. The icing on both is that if you give ANY impression of support they leave. Either way it looks like on the worst day of our lives the gov't will make it worse....
Cheers,
Pat

[ahmik]

Great to hear the surgery went smoothly! I'm sad to hear of Chuck's trouble. Power to you both!

Skapi

[mdehners]

Thanks! On the surgery I think I've hit a plateau; before every day was better. The last 2 have been the same. With Chuck, it's just been made more clear that even with "Gay Marriage" at least in Florida nothing really has changed. You have no legal rights to your spouse's care...
Cheers,
Pat

[arlie]

I'm so sorry to hear about Chuck.

[mdehners]

He's a bit better but with these sort of things you never get it all back. By biggest help/problem is my family. My brother was staying with Chuck when it happened and it scared the crap out of him. All lot of very logical people have a hard time dealing with Irrationality. So all this week they've been trying to find out what they need if TSHTF. Unfortunately, Florida, even with "Marriage Equality"
means I have no real say in the big issues, like placing him in a home. They've got Senior Services involved and we'll be getting a visit in the future....
Cheers,
Pat

[weofodthignen]

Oh dear, that sounds ominous :-( I was hoping your brother would just agree to continue helping him.

[mdehners]

Me too, but I think Chuck's mentation during the Stroke scared him big time.They don't seem as happy as I am about the lady from SPC coming to talk about ways to keep Chuck home as long as possible. I've run into this before with family and friends toward "My Other Tribe" and it's really our fault for thinking Tolerance or even Acceptance to be the same as Equality. It's surprised me(I think only because it's with people I love....) how often Being non Het (at least subconsciously) is considered less than. Chris even honestly thought the Idea of putting Chuck into a Home early would be a good thing to let him get acclimatized. ...something he'd NEVER have thought of for either of my folks or HIS wife.
Cheers,
Pat