mdehners | On feeling Guilty about feeling Good about Others feeling Bad...

In the last Decade, I've had to Deal with a strange combination of Emotions as the AIDS Epidemic spread. You see, my 1st Partner Passed away in 1984 of PC pneumonia after two yrs together and I've had to DEAL with IT since. Oddly enough, it's not the illnesses, the side-effects of the meds or the chronic damage that the virus did to other systems before the meds and that the meds do that bothers me the most. It's my feelings toward many of those who are now infected...esp communities that gleefully called it "God's Will" and did EVERYTHING they could to make our Live's miserable. It's hard to look at a face that only a couple yrs before Spat in yours and not feel ambivalent at best...and I'm NOT usually at my "Best"< G >. It's also hard to be told that even though no one would help YOU, and YOUR KIND had to create orgs from scratch and collect resources to help those Ill now is told it has to work even harder because now the Folks that had once stood in the Way are now demanding more of your resources...
We ARE TIRED. If it hadn't been for my husband, I probably wouldn't fight so hard and would have Passed to Hella's Hall yrs ago...
Troth,
Pat (in the mood for a Wallow...)