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mdehnersIt's been a long couple of weeks in the family since Chuck and Sandi's last fight. Chris asked me why Chuck has a "chip" on his shoulder against his wife and once I realized that he NEVER thought about that fight we had about Mom's manipulating the family to get us here back 13 frikk'n yrs ago(the fight that brought it out, not us Moving;>), when I got home I wrote him an email and sent it.
I REMINDED him(I'd forgotten he's like most men in that they're not the most Introspective) that Mom, to get us here had tailored messages that would make each of us more likely to do what she wanted and pointed out that Chuck(who had only met them after we moved here) had only what Mom had said about esp Sandi to judge her and that what they'd been told made her, well act like the bitch Mom said she was. I also pointed out that not long after we moved they had a fight and Sandi wouldn't go to family events for a couple yrs. In those yrs Mom used Chuck as a shoulder to cry on, mostly about her evil DIL. No wonder Chuck always expected the worst form her. Then, add in Newagy 'tude and the tendency to lecture and you had plenty of fuel and all you needed was a spark.
Chris is fine but we haven't heard anything from her beyond a snippy email to a thank you email that I'd sent to her about the herbal "tranquilzers" she'd suggested.
I fear that she'll do the "easy" thing; figure we're Lying rather than accepting she'd been manipulated for more than a decade by someone less "evolved" than her. She DOES have a tendency to "Reframe" things so that it is never her fault or that she somehow is the Good person.
We can hope....
Cheers,
Pat
I REMINDED him(I'd forgotten he's like most men in that they're not the most Introspective) that Mom, to get us here had tailored messages that would make each of us more likely to do what she wanted and pointed out that Chuck(who had only met them after we moved here) had only what Mom had said about esp Sandi to judge her and that what they'd been told made her, well act like the bitch Mom said she was. I also pointed out that not long after we moved they had a fight and Sandi wouldn't go to family events for a couple yrs. In those yrs Mom used Chuck as a shoulder to cry on, mostly about her evil DIL. No wonder Chuck always expected the worst form her. Then, add in Newagy 'tude and the tendency to lecture and you had plenty of fuel and all you needed was a spark.
Chris is fine but we haven't heard anything from her beyond a snippy email to a thank you email that I'd sent to her about the herbal "tranquilzers" she'd suggested.
I fear that she'll do the "easy" thing; figure we're Lying rather than accepting she'd been manipulated for more than a decade by someone less "evolved" than her. She DOES have a tendency to "Reframe" things so that it is never her fault or that she somehow is the Good person.
We can hope....
Cheers,
Pat
